


You Can't Carry A Tune And I Have To Carry you

by jadehqknb



Series: Ship Fics [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged up characters, College AU, M/M, background sugatana, established toraken, kuroo is a mess, no underage drinking here, oh look here's big strong taketora to lend a hand, pre-confession kurodai, somebody help this poor drunk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadehqknb/pseuds/jadehqknb
Summary: Kuroo can't carry a tune, but he sure can carry a crush... for a long time. But luckily for him, he's got friends to support him. Quite literally in Yamamoto's case.





	You Can't Carry A Tune And I Have To Carry you

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [wonderful art](http://nekokat42.tumblr.com/post/154945972407/concept-tora-having-to-drag-dead-drunk-kuroo-home) by Kot over at NekoKat, I decided to give writing this concept a try. And of course I had to make it include a pining Kuroo! Hope you enjoy!

“I’m allll alooone! There’s nobody here… beside… me…”

“Oh my god, make it stooop,” Tora whines. Wrapped up in his arm, face pressed close to his PSP, Kenma snorts.

“It’s your own fault, Tora.”

“Is not! I’m not the one who decided on karaoke!”

“Maybe not, but you are the one who let Kuro drink too much.”

Tora opens his mouth to retort but another bellow from Kuroo cuts him off. “You’re the one that I want! Ooo ooo oooo.. Sawamura! The one that I want!”

Everyone—at least those who are still conscious—look with wide, startled eyes from Kuroo to Sawamura who is, thankfully, blissfully unaware of the drunk man’s blunder. Because Sawamura is passed out dead asleep, his head resting on a very red-cheeked Tanaka’s shoulder.

“Thank god,” Kai whispers and the others nod. Sure, they’re all tired of Kuroo’s maddening pining and Sawamura’s blockheaded obliviousness but none of them would want their dear— if irritating—former captain and good friend to blurt out his confession in a drunken stupor.

Especially via a terrible butchering of a Grease number.

“Ok,” Sugawara draws out the word as he rises, “and that means it’s time to go home.” The rest follow suit, save for Tora and Kenma who is trying to beat his level and won’t move and won’t let Tora move either.

It doesn’t take him long and when the task is completed, he looks up at Tora and says, “Carry Kuro home, Tora.”

Tora splutters, his eyes going wide. “Wha… why? He’s heavy! And… and… he might throw up on me!”

Kenma gives him an unimpressed look. “Because if we let him walk on his own it will take forever.” He raises one hand, patting Tora’s cheek. “Be a good boy now.”

Tora’s face turns a shade of red no one’s sure they’ve ever seen before but he rises to his feet in silent obedience. Kenma looks smug and Suga can’t help being impressed.

“Ok Kuroo-san, time to go home,” Tora says, approaching Kuroo like the wild animal he is when he’s had too much to drink.

“Nooooo! I wanna sing some more. Ooooohhhh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the feet… wait… no.. Heat! With somebody… YEAH, I wanna dance with somebody.. With Sa..wa...mu..ra!”

“Oh my god, will you quit it!” Tora snaps. He lunges for the mic, but Kuroo is surprisingly dexterous and whirls out of the way of his grasping hand.

“Caaaann you feeel, the looooovvveee toni--ack! Tora! Low blow! Bro-code broken, bro-code broken!” Kuroo caterwauls when Tora uses his “super secret” tickle spot to relieve him of the mic and bind one arm behind him.

“Shut up, Kuroo-san. Don’t make me break your arm. We’re leaving, come on!”

As Tora continues to struggle to get Kuroo off the stage without breaking himself or any of the equipment—namely by chucking said idiot into some of it—Suga chuckles to Kai, “I don’t know that I’ve been this entertained in a long time.”

Kai shrugs. “We’re used to it.”

Suga nods in sympathy, then tosses over his shoulder at Tanaka as they walk towards the door leading to the lobby, “You’re responsible for getting Daichi home safe!”

“Ehhhh?! Why me?” Tanaka cries but snaps his jaw shut when Daichi shifts, yawns, then settles against him once more.

Suga grins. “Because you’re my big strong man who can handle anything, Ryuunosuke.”

Tanaka raises his free arm, shaking his finger at the silver-haired male. “That… is not fair.”

Suga just grins again then saunters out of the room.

“Whipped,” Tora chuckles, even as he bears the burden of Kuroo on his back.

“Look who’s talkin’ city boy,” Tanaka fires off, grunting as he lifts his best buddy onto his back. “Dai-san, why are you so musclely,” he whines.

“Whatsamatter? Gotten lazy since you graduated?” Tora taunts, still overlooking the fact he, too, is struggling but at least he has the excuse that Kuroo is floppy and uncooperative. At least Sawamura doesn’t move.

“No! He’s just… dead weight,” Tanaka complains, shifting Daichi higher up on his hips, his grip tightening.

“You two coming or you just gonna wear those schmucks as backpacks and fire insults at each other the rest of the night!” Yaku hollers.

Properly chastised, the two brothers from other mothers stumble their way out into the cold to join their friends. They all live close enough that taking a cab is silly and so they walk, dropping people off as they reach their dwellings or sending them down their own paths that veer from the main street and will take them home.

“My pants are slipping off,” Kuroo complains as Tora shifts him higher on his back.

“Because you lost your belt.”

“Why is it cold?” he whines next, trying to somehow nuzzle closer to Tora.

“You lost your jacket too.”

“Ehhhh? Did someone take advantage of me? Please tell me it was Sawamura,” Kuroo asks, his head coming into Tora’s peripheral.

“No! You’re just a dumbass and Kenma didn’t want to wait,” Tora snaps.

“Waaah! That was my favorite jacket!”

“Kuroo-san, be quiet! It’s late!” Tora half demands, half pleads.

“You walk too hard! Slow down!” Kuroo whines.

“How do I walk too hard?” Tora asks despite the warning look Kenma shoots him to stop engaging with Kuroo’s drunken ranting.

Kuroo makes a vague gesture with his hand, nearly smacking Tora in the face. “I don’t know, just… less stomping more gliding.”

“Kuroo-san, you can’t glide down a sidewalk, it’s impossible,” Tora says.

“Kenma can!”

“Yeah, well, Kenma isn’t carrying your sorry ass so shut up! In fact, just go to sleep like Sawamura!”

The moment the name leaves his lips, Tora knows he’s made a grave error. Thankfully the other man has already been deposited at home so he’s not here to witness Kuroo bemoan rather loudly, “Ooooh, Sawamura! How I love thee! Let me count the ways—“

“Please don’t—“ Kenma begins, forgetting his own rule of ignoring the idiot.

But Kuroo is already well on his way. “Number one! His smile! Have you seen it? It’s dreamy. I mean, literally, a dream. Number two! His _thighs!_ My god those thighs! I’d let him smother me and die a happy man.”

Tora turns red to the ears and Kenma rolls his eyes.

“Num...ber… four! No! Three! His eyes! They are so warm and soft but also fierce and fiery and it’s like… it’s like his _soul_ is on display even if he doesn’t want it to be but it’s ok because it’s a beautiful soul. Oh! That’s number four! His beautiful soul…”

His tone becomes wistful now, a soft affection running through it that Tora feels unworthy to hear.

During the lull of Kuroo’s “gushing about Sawamura” tirade, Tora asks, his voice softening, “Kuroo-san… why don’t you tell Sawamura-san how you feel?”

Kuroo huffs, his breath tickling Tora’s ear making his head twitch, “Because he’ll hate me.”

Tora feels a pang in his chest at the absolutely destitute way that comes out of his friend’s mouth. His eyes seek out Kenma’s but when he finds them he nearly shrinks back. It’s testament to the amount of alcohol Kuroo’s had that he doesn’t scramble off of Tora’s back to run for the hills with that piercing gaze turned on him.

“Set him down, Tora,” Kenma says. When he pockets his PSP, Tora knows Kuroo’s in deep shit.

He does as told, working Kuroo off his back. He’s able to stand on his own, thankfully. That is until Kenma slugs his shoulder. Hard.

Kuroo, in his shock or possible inebriation, stumbles to the ground, his eyes suddenly wide and his mouth hanging open.

Kenma doesn’t hesitate, grabbing Kuroo by the collar of his shirt and hauling him face to face. “You may be drunk, but listen anyway, because I’m only gonna say this once. You. Are. An. Idiot. Ok, I lied, I’ll definitely be saying that again at some point.” Kenma takes a deep breath before going on. “If you can’t see by now how much Sawamura adores you, you’re blind. And, here’s the part I won’t repeat, you’re a good catch Kuroo. More than that, you’re perfect for Sawamura. So stop being such a pansy ass, whiny baby and Go. Get. Your. Man. Clear?”

Tora shifts his legs to hide the growing problem between them.

“I… uh… wow... I’m suddenly, very, very sober,” Kuroo says, swallowing.

“Yeah, well, Sawamura isn’t, so follow those orders tomorrow. In fact, make sure you’re dressed nice, text him to invite him to breakfast and confess. No more pining, no more sad eyes, no more wasting time. Alright?”

Kuroo nods.

“Ok then, I’ll text you tomorrow.” Kenma looks at Tora, and nods his head.

Tora helps Kuroo to his feet, dusts him off, and they walk the remainder of the way to Kuroo’s apartment in silence.

After he’s safely ensconced within it, Tora slings an arm around Kenma’s neck, drawing him close to his side. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Mark me down as scared and horny, geezus babe.”

Kenma just smirks.   


End file.
